For all my young 20s, I have had sex and been pleasured by men from all over the world. I experienced all sorts of different dicks and learned more about myself through these experiences and I am happily here to share my thoughts and stories.
Here are the 10 lessons I learned from my years of hoe-ing around.
1. Do not use sex for validation.
Most of the time I slept with men to feel validated on the inside because I was insecure about being lonely and my overall looks. For the longest time, I kept my number count as a secret because I was ashamed for sleeping around. I would get called slut, whore, and all sorts of horrendous words just because I was sexually active. As I got older though and slept around more, I realized I actually enjoy having sex and I have no shame or regrets because I learned that sex can be empowering if you set the intention to empower yourself and enjoy the pleasures that sex can bring. You are in control and you have the power to say NO if you do not feel comfortable in having sex. Feel confident in yourself to appreciate what sex can bring to you and not to fill in the empty voids.
2. The more you fuck, the more you learn.
I can’t say I had a perfect experience with each guy but I do know I learned something about myself each time I had sex with someone. I know now what my body likes and what it doesn’t like. I learned what makes me orgasm and what turns me off. I found out what I am really good at doing and what I don’t enjoy doing in bed. All in all, I’ve gained so much knowledge and experience from being open to pleasure.
3. Sex does not mean love, what I craved for was intimacy.
Oh if I could tell my young 20-year-old self, that having sex does not mean it’s true love, I’m sure she would have appreciated it. I was so naïve in my young 20s, and I thought if I gave it up, that men would be open to being in love with me. Unfortunately, that was never the case and most of my sex adventures were simply fun escapes for both me and the other person. I learned that what I really wanted was not pleasure, but it was intimacy that I craved for. The cuddles, the soft touches, the kisses on the neck, the stare into my eyes until I cry type look, and the wonderful deep talks after having intense emotional sex.
4. Size does not matter.
For the longest time I thought big dicks meant great sex, but after sleeping with so many different dicks in the world, even the smallest dicks has given me more pleasure than some of my big dick boys. I always got excited for big dicks but usually big dicks left me disappointed because they would either cum too quickly or I would have to do most of the work. FACTS- smaller dicks will definitely put in more work.
5. Alcohol and Drugs Make it Harder to Cum
Most of my sex adventures did involve some sort of substance and I do not recommend having sex when you are under the influence. It is definitely a lot harder to satisfied both parties. Someone is always dry (usually me) or not hard enough to complete the deed. It usually ends in disappointment and the walk of shame is never fun to walk.
6. It’s all about FOREPLAY
The best part of having sex is honestly foreplay. I always enjoy the sex more if the men put in the effort to get me turned on. Lick my clit and I will go downtown and rock your world. Make me squirt and it’s game over. Sex always last longer too if you can draw that foreplay out.
7. Explore different ways to pleasure
I was always open to trying new things. I had 1 guy who did BDSM on me and tied me up. I was surprisingly into it and decided I needed to explore more ways to pleasure. It does get boring doing the same old penetrate and doggy style so change up the mix and add in some booty fun, figure out what you are into, and no shame in asking for it.
8. AVOID INVOLVING FOOD AND SEX TOGETHER
I have tried putting applesauce on a dick before and thought I would enjoy going downtown. I absolutely do not like my applesauce on dicks and it doesn’t taste as good as expected. I also had a guy accidentally finger me after cutting jalapenos and let’s just say my pussy was on fire and I had to soak myself in the bathtub with milk until the burn went away. And no, I do not like whip cream on my titties, that just gets sticky and gross to lick off of.
9. PEE AFTER SEX AND WIPE FRONT TO BACK
Women are more prone to catching STDs and infections more than men. When I first started being sexually active, my boyfriend at the time had an uncut dick and kept giving me vaginal bacterial infections. My doctor told me this was NORMAL and that women need to pee and wipe front to back EVERY TIME after having sex to avoid infections and UTIs. I also caught chlamydia a few times and somehow none of the guys that I had sex with caught it or maybe some lied to me, but women are just more prone to catching things than men so PROTECT YOURSELF.
10. Learn to respect and love your body.
The most important lesson I learned is that my body belongs to me and I really should protect it at all cost. I was always insecure with how I looked naked and when men wouldn’t have sex with me, it blew my ego, but what hurt most was having sex and getting tossed aside like some object. I am not proud of those nights, but I have no regrets because all in all I learned what’s really important to me when it comes to my body and what I look for in a partner or with someone that I am being intimate with. I love my body now and I have not had sex with randoms or strange men anymore. It feels empowering to be in control and as I got older, I know what I want for myself and learn to be vocal and speak my honest truth when it comes to having sex.
Sex does not have to be a difficult topic to talk about. I am empowering women and other people to enjoy having sex and not to judge themselves or anyone else for being sexually active. The only way to know what you like and what you don’t like is to explore your options and be open to the endless possibilities to connect to someone sexually and intimately. If you struggle being open about your sex life or you feel ashamed in anyway, I want you to know that there’s no shame if you are true to who you are and know that it’s part of the journey. I am happily single and I am now at a point of my life where I don’t need sex to feel validated anymore.