I stopped giving a F**K about what people think of me, and it changed everything.
Today I had a phone conversation with my best friend about how I told a guy that I matched on Hinge that I was practicing celibacy and that I’m already 1 year in it. He told me he didn’t want to continue talking anymore because he felt like we wanted different things and didn’t think we should waste each other’s time. I respected his decisions and thanked him for asking and being honest. When I told my best friend this, she told me I scared him away.
I was shocked that she thought I was at fault. She tried to explain that men never want to hear from a woman about being celibate. Her intentions were good, and she only wanted me to enjoy the perks of dating. Usually, when my friends give me dating advice, I listen and feel like an idiot for messing things up. But this time was different. I told her, thank you for her opinion, but I do not regret being honest with the guy about my celibacy. I am proud of myself for going a whole year without sexual interaction with another person. It makes me feel like I am finally in control of my body and dating life. I let my best friend know that I do not want any men who do not respect my decision of practicing celibacy. If a man wanted to get to know me and pursue me, he would put in the effort regardless of whether I give him sex or not. I was happy that I didn’t waste my time or the other guy’s time had I not told him.
She finally let it go when I stood my ground and said I will stick with my decision to be upfront and honest about my celibacy. I know a man will come around when he can look past it and see me for who I am. She changed her mind about giving me any more dating advice and allowed me to be myself.
It felt so good to own my decision, and I never felt more empowered. Often I tell people what I have done or my dating stories, and they always want to give their point of view and tell me what I could do better to improve. For years I listened to the opinions of other people telling me what was best for me and often felt guilty or ashamed of my actions. This people-pleasing trait has not done much good for me and often leads me to anxiety or self-doubt.
I had enough of listening to other people. I choose to be proud of my decisions, regardless of whether they are…