I stopped giving a F**K about what people think of me, and it changed everything.

Jennifer Le
5 min readDec 16, 2021
Photo by L.O.B Tetteh on Unsplash

Today I had a phone conversation with my best friend about how I told a guy that I matched on Hinge that I was practicing celibacy and that I’m already 1 year in it. He told me he didn’t want to continue talking anymore because he felt like we wanted different things and didn’t think we should waste each other’s time. I respected his decisions and thanked him for asking and being honest. When I told my best friend this, she told me I scared him away.

I was shocked that she thought I was at fault. She tried to explain that men never want to hear from a woman about being celibate. Her intentions were good, and she only wanted me to enjoy the perks of dating. Usually, when my friends give me dating advice, I listen and feel like an idiot for messing things up. But this time was different. I told her, thank you for her opinion, but I do not regret being honest with the guy about my celibacy. I am proud of myself for going a whole year without sexual interaction with another person. It makes me feel like I am finally in control of my body and dating life. I let my best friend know that I do not want any men who do not respect my decision of practicing celibacy. If a man wanted to get to know me and pursue me, he would put in the effort regardless of whether I give him sex or not. I was happy that I didn’t waste my time or the other guy’s time had I not told him.

She finally let it go when I stood my ground and said I will stick with my decision to be upfront and honest about my celibacy. I know a man will come around when he can look past it and see me for who I am. She changed her mind about giving me any more dating advice and allowed me to be myself.

It felt so good to own my decision, and I never felt more empowered. Often I tell people what I have done or my dating stories, and they always want to give their point of view and tell me what I could do better to improve. For years I listened to the opinions of other people telling me what was best for me and often felt guilty or ashamed of my actions. This people-pleasing trait has not done much good for me and often leads me to anxiety or self-doubt.

I had enough of listening to other people. I choose to be proud of my decisions, regardless of whether they are…

Jennifer Le

Fun size, cute, and full of sunshine and love. You can share your life with me. I’ll help you transform into the beautiful soul that you are. www.intentjen.com