Taking on Your Fears (How to Be Fearless)

“Do It Scared”- Sherri Shepherd

Growing up I was sheltered because my parents were always protective and too scared to let me do anything because they were afraid something would happen. When I finally got the chance to live out on my own, I adventure to as many new experiences I could take on as many fears that I could conquer. Life was scary for me and it still can be sometimes. Yes, I was scared of a lot of things, and I never would admit to them because I grew up having to hide those feelings of being afraid because I wanted to seem strong and grounded. However, it gets exhausting all the time putting up a front and dealing with those fears alone. Eventually, I had to realize the only way to get over any fear, is to first admit I have them and take them on myself.

LIST OF FEARS: (I’m afraid…)

  1. That I’m not good enough
  2. To approach and meet people (yes as extroverted as I am, this still happens!)
  3. Of being alone
  4. To speak foreign languages because I think I suck at it
  5. *FREAK ACCIDENTS* (this does not apply to this blog because this is out of my control)
  6. To act in front of people and being on stage
  7. Big Dogs (because I’m allergic and I got attacked once)
  8. Of making a fool out of myself
  9. Of rejections and being rejected
  10. Public Speaking and performance
  11. Of letting people down
  12. Of getting hurt by love again or by other people
  13. To hurt people who I don’t want to hurt
  14. Of the Dark except when I’m sleeping (I’m that bitch that needs a flashlight on)
  15. To be a failure
  16. Dangerous activities like skydiving, scuba diving, etc.

Yes, I admit I have a lot of fears and self-doubt in myself that is really hard to push away. Those fears were created because of my insecurities and depression that I was suffering from. It’s not easy to overcome, trust me, but it’s not impossible. It’s natural to be scared and nervous to do something out of your comfort zone, and for me moving out of Mississippi was my first step in toward conquering my fears. I feel grateful that my parents were protective of me because it made me more curious to figure out what life was like outside of my home. It wasn’t easy to live out on my own at first especially moving to a new city by myself where I barely knew anyone. It forced me to get out of my comfort zone and take my fears head on because I had to otherwise what else could I do? Whether it was confronting people, making new friends, trying new activities, or adventuring out into the unknown, I did everything that made me uncomfortable because, in the end, the rewards for trying were unbelievable and made me the fearless, adventure-seeking badass that I am today. Every fear that I took on, became my motivation for self-improvement and each scary adventure was a learning lesson. Taking on those fears made me more confident in myself and made me believe that life was not bad as people make it out to be.

I believe people become scared based on what other people’s experiences are like aka watching the news and scrolling through our Facebook Feed. We see so much pain and tragedy that happens, that it prevents us from experiencing that ourselves. We shouldn’t let other people or what the media portrays get into our heads and prevent us from at least trying. We also shouldn’t judge anybody or experience based off what we hear but instead, figure it out ourselves and live to tell it. We should all be helping each other push ourselves to overcome our challenges and obstacles and encourage each other to do whatever our hearts desire.

Take a look at my list of how to tackle on those fears and this list helped me overcome mine.

How to Overcome Your Fears:

  1. Accept and admit your fears
  • List out all the things you are afraid of and why. Be honest with yourself and accept that you’re scared and that IT IS OKAY TO BE AFRAID

2. Make a Game Plan

  • Tackle one fear at a time and set a plan on how to overcome it.
  • Example: I’m scared of meeting new people at work but I want to make friends
  • Plan: I will say “Hi” to the co-worker who is sitting next to me and spark conversation.

3. Trust Yourself and Let Fear Turn into “Curiosity”

  • Remind yourself why you are doing it and how badly you need to do this for YOU
  • Tell yourself you deserve the best and you are worthy of anything! Trust that you can do it and appreciate yourself for at least “trying”.
  • Turn the word fear into “Curiosity”. This usually helps me a lot because I would tell myself that “I’m curious” instead of “I’m scared or nervous”. Curiosity is what leads us to answers. (A more positive outlook approach)

4. Accept Worst Case Scenarios

  • Accept what the worst outcome could be and once you get over that fact, then it makes it easier to do what you need to do.
  • Ex: *Worst Case*- my coworker doesn’t want to be friends with me and that’s okay because they are other people to be friends with so I’ll just keep trying!

5. Just Do It

  • Take that leap and do what you’re scared to do!! Don’t hold back, don’t push it back. Just get out there and do it because at least you can now say “I gave it a shot and tried for myself!”

6. Review Your Results and Gain Knowledge

  • Now that you did what you came here to do, take a look at what you accomplished! Yes, whether you failed or succeed, it’s still a win because at least you tried!
  • If you succeeded, now you know how to deal with this fear for the future and how to help others succeed just like you
  • If you failed, now you know what mistakes to fix or look at what happened and try again next time to succeed but maybe with a different approach.
  • You gain knowledge by taking on your fears and it feeds your curious mind of what could happen. You learn more and more each time you tackle your fears and it makes you a better person no matter what. It helps you learn what you want in life and builds confidence in yourself!

Fears are what makes us who we are and we have to have them in order to challenge ourselves for the better. They won’t go away easily but we can overcome them and it’ll make us better people. Let us all work hard towards becoming “Fearless” and just know you’re not alone!

Authenticity and Spiritual Coach. I help people discover their greatest potential. ☺️

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