What being sick has done to me…
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In the two years of being healthy and free, I finally got sick this month. At first, I thought it was Covid, even though I was vaccinated, but luckily for me, I caught the Flu instead. Before getting sick, I was stressed over losing a friend and some work things. I had anxiety and depression to the point where I felt suicidal. I was upset over money problems and hurt by the lack of effort in my friendship. I am pretty sure I caused myself to be sick with all this stress.
I cried for nearly two weeks straight and blamed myself for so many things that I did or didn’t do. I was with my brother and his family for the weekend when it all started. My niece and nephew were full of energy and may be too much for me to handle. They were jumping on me and wanting me to play with them all day, but I started to feel angry and upset because they were too much for me to handle at one point. I felt guilty because I couldn’t be 100% there, and I started to get headaches. I haven’t had a headache in two years, and when I get headaches, my whole body will shut down.
After the headaches, I felt chills and a fever coming on. My nose started to run, and mucus kept forming and coming out of my mouth. I didn’t have the energy to play with my niece and nephew anymore and told my brother I wanted to sleep in for the rest of the day. He let me, and that’s all I did. I probably needed sleep since I hadn’t had proper sleep in the past two weeks.
The rest of the week, I spent my time in bed. It sucked because I wanted to have the energy to play and spend time with my family, but now I couldn’t go near them. But being sick wasn’t all that bad. I used my time wisely and watched a bunch of Gaia documentaries on life and psychic abilities. I practiced learning Spanish and French again because language is something I wanted to improve on. I even began applying for jobs. I dreamed of having a travel job where I guide people on adventures and explore the world with like-minded people.
I took this time to rest and focus on what mattered to me, even when I felt so much pain and sickness. Something changed when I became sick. My energy shifted, and it made me think about what was most important to me. I felt more open to listening and being more kind. My family was there to take care of me. I was happy I wasn’t alone and had people…
